Too Excited to Sleep!

Have you ever been so filled with anticipation that you couldn’t sleep? I grew up in New Jersey, about an hour from the Jersey shore. During the summers of my youth, my family would sometimes take day trips to Seaside Heights. To my little girl eyes, Seaside was the epitome of everything good about the Jersey shore. There was a beach, of course, but there was also a boardwalk with rides and games and prizes and music and fun and food. We’d go early and spend the entire day on the beach—blankets, umbrellas, and coolers with lunch and drinks packed to eat right on the sand. Near dinnertime, we’d pack it all up, load the car, and then shower and change in the boardwalk locker rooms. With hair still wet from the shower, we’d head to the food stands to eat something fried and greasy, and afterward ride the rides and maybe try to win some kind of big stuffed something at the arcade games. We’d stay way past dark, and oftentimes I’d fall asleep on the way home.

My mother knew not to tell me too far in advance that we were going to Seaside. She’d tell me the night before, and inevitably, I’d be so excited I couldn’t fall asleep. The anticipation of what was to come would bubble up inside me. Every time I closed my eyes I’d see myself on the beach or on a fun ride or carrying a stuffed bear that was bigger than me. I’d be filled with the joy of anticipation long before we ever got to the beach! All these years later, the memory of that feeling still brings a smile to my face.

Now that I’m no longer a little girl, it usually takes more than a trip to the beach to fill me with joyful anticipation, but there have been moments. One I recall vividly is the anticipation of Joe returning from his first six-month overseas deployment with the Marine Corps. We’d been married just a small handful of years, and the deployment left me at home alone with a two-year-old and a three-month-old. It was a long six months. At about month five, though, the difficulties of the deployment faded into the joyful anticipation of our reunion. Every night when I went to sleep I would picture those jets flying by overhead and landing in front of us on the runway. I eagerly awaited running with the boys to Joe’s open arms as he stepped out of the cockpit and hugging him like we’d never let go.

Cherry Point, NC, 1980

Anticipation spurred me on to clean my house until it was spotless. I made sure to get a fresh haircut and have my fingers and toes painted a pretty pink. I cut the boys hair. A few days before the arrival date, the boys and I painted a banner to welcome Daddy home. I climbed a ladder and attached it to the top of our garage so Joe would see it as soon as we rounded the curve in front of our house. I don’t recall how many outfits I tried on before deciding on the one I would wear for his homecoming. I had butterflies in my stomach for weeks! The anticipation was pure joy. Over our Marine Corps career, we got to experience that anticipation of homecoming many times. Such treasured memories.

September 1980

Thinking back on those times of joyful anticipation got me to thinking about the future and when I might have opportunity to experience that kind of joy and excitement again. And then it hit me! Shouldn’t I be living every day with boundless, joyful anticipation? The greatest homecoming of all time is ahead of us. Aren’t we awaiting the glorious return of the Messiah? I should be longing for that day and spilling over with joy every moment in anticipation of Christ’s return!

Gulf Shores, AL. Photo by Laura Krauss.

We were recently at the beach again this summer. This time it was with my son and his family. The first night we were there, a storm rolled in over the ocean the likes of which I’d never before seen. The sky turned charcoal gray with thick, low-hanging clouds. The reflection of the clouds turned the water to black. It was very dramatic. All along the beach people came out onto their decks to marvel at the sky and water. It was incredible, exciting, and scary all rolled into one. As we gathered on the deck of our beach house, amidst all of that excitement, my seven-year-old granddaughter suddenly exclaimed, “Maybe Jesus is coming back!!” We all laughed, but truly it made us think for a minute. Why not? It could be this very moment. We should be excited and joyful in anticipation of Christ’s return!

Of course, Christ may not return during my lifetime or yours. What is certain, though, is one day seeing the face of my Savior. One day, and it could be today, I will go home to be with Jesus forever. I can’t think of anything better to joyfully anticipate than eternity in the presence of God.

For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. ~Philippians 1:21

With heart full of joyful anticipation, I’m waiting.