Why Is There a Stigma About Childhood Sexual Abuse?

On a fine Saturday a few weeks ago, I participated in a tricounty library-sponsored author event. I was excited to be one of about seventy-five authors showing our books, talking to folks who stopped at our tables, and signing books for purchasers. I set up my half table with several stacks of books, my book cover poster on a stand, and book swag, which for me means little teddy bears and organza bags of rocks. (If you’re curious about why I give away a bag of rocks with each book at in-person events, you’ll have to read Little Girl Mended.)

Since this was my first author event, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Folks wandered through the tables, stopping to pick up books and chat with the authors. I hadn’t thought at all about this aspect of having my book at an author event. It was so interesting to watch as people picked up my book with its beautiful front cover and then turned it over to read the back cover. You see, the first sentence on the back reads, No little girl should ever have to find out about sexual abuse at the hands of her father. The reactions I saw as people read that sentence were quite amazing. There were some who told me they were sorry, a couple who asked me a question or two, and a significant number who immediately became uncomfortable and returned the book to the table like it had suddenly scalded their hands. They moved away from me and my table of books as quickly as they could.

I came home that day realizing, with more than a little disappointment, that there is still such a stigma surrounding childhood sexual abuse. That people became so uncomfortable in just reading the words on the back of a book astonished me. I suppose I shouldn’t have been astonished since I could barely even speak the words myself less than a decade ago. People want to pretend sexual abuse doesn’t exist! But pretense doesn’t make it so.

A New Mantra

I came away from that author event with a new mantra (and because everything is a hashtag these days it looks like this): #nomorestigma. Overcoming the stigma of sexual abuse accomplishes a couple of things. First, it helps survivors find their voice to speak their truth. We need to know people are not going to cringe with discomfort or embarrassment when we tell our stories. #nomorestigma! Second, it’s only with the ability of ordinary people to converse in ordinary ways about sexual abuse that we have any hope of furthering prevention. There’s nothing to be uncomfortable or embarrassed about.

In an effort to take a first step in helping to overcome the stigma of childhood sexual abuse, I want to start a conversation—with you. Now, don’t panic! I’m not going to call you on the phone and make you say “sexual abuse” out loud. But I am going to say those words out loud myself in the hopes that more and more people will be able to hear them and not cringe with embarrassment or discomfort. So how’s this going to happen? I’m planning a series of short videos about sexual abuse that will first air on my Facebook author page at www.facebook.com/AuthorNikiKrauss. That page is open to the public, and all you have to do is “Like” it to be included. (You might want to do that now so you’ll be ready.) I’m asking that you “Share” the videos with your Facebook friends and ask them to share with theirs, etc. I would love for this to be a two-way conversation with as many people as possible. Comments and questions on my Facebook author page are welcomed. Sharing and comments will be your way to have a  voice and be involved in overcoming the stigma of sexual abuse. It will take all of us, those who have personal experience with abuse and those who don’t. We all need to be able to talk about this important subject.

The stigma surrounding childhood sexual abuse is well established. This new video series is one small step toward overcoming it. I hope you’ll want to be a part of it. Look for the first video on Facebook next week. #nomorestigma!